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592 stories 452 accepted 151 in progress -11 queued
[Y] love at first rave
license [R]
love at first rave
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9 Comments
22 Votes
7 Favourites
Sexuality Gay
Submitted On Jun5/10
Hits 3541
Summary:
trying to find love at a rave
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[Y] Excerpt

BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP,BUMP

BUMP-THUMP-BUMP-THUMP-BUMP-THUMP-BUMP-THUMP-BUMP-THUMP-BUMP

BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP,

damn this beat is sick aint it!

hell yeah!

*my names kuro and over there dancing with every guy he can get his paws on is my best friend edward. we decided to go to a rave club to help me find a mate but it looks more like edward just didn't want to go alone. i don't mind though i love this music, the beat is sick! i can feel it in my chest and in my body, i just want to dance like edward but i'm too shy. i just watch him dance like a pro, he looks so good out there he hits every beat. the guys like him too they're all over him. should i get out there and shake my tail? i might find a guy, then again i might not. edward looked over at me and waved for me to come over. i turned quickley and pretended not to notice it.

hey kuro get over here now! this beat is too much for one guy to ...
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Comments
[Aaralyn Mcalister]
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Jun8/10 17:20:57
This feels very artsy to me if not lacking in a little bit of format. Sometimes I was confused who was talking when. You know how to use details but you pick and choose when you feel like using them. Try and use them even alongside the dialogue. Keep your capitolization up, especially for your characters names. Great start!

~Aaralyn~
[lonely_wolf]
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Jun9/10 01:21:54
thank you! your so nice!
[docisco]
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Jun17/10 11:31:14
purly amazing..it made me cry in a few spots to. you really need to make more chapters to this.
[the_jackel]
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Jun10/10 13:01:46
Awesome Awesome Awesome Great work! i love it in fact i love it soo much im gonna read it again and add it to my favorites Very Happy
[lonely_wolf]
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Jun12/10 01:28:28
thank you! such kind words! can you believe i'm still a virgin! i don't write like it!
[Wuffy Wolf]
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Jun26/10 21:39:02
i loved it it really touched my heart i am favoriting it and recomending to all my furiends
[lonely_wolf]
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Jun28/10 19:57:44
awww thank you wuffy kun!
[CuteLittleFurryHusky]
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Jan27/11 14:28:21
Man, your story is really really really ossum!!!!!!! You even had me crying!! So detailed, so nice, so loveable!!! I really hope you write another one, cuz your story was ossum!!!
[lonely_wolf]
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Jun22/11 20:43:54
im sorry to all my fur fans, im go'n through a difficult time right now. added to that i have no computer where im at but rest assured i have started several stories. i just havent had the time nor the focus to finish them or work on them on a regular basis. i am most sorry *walks away with dragging tail and drooped ears*
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