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[Y] Origins Chapter 1
license [14-A]
Origins Chapter 1
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Submitted On Mar30/10
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Summary:
Origin of Bredfur, the mixed fox. Hi everyone, this is the first chapter of what I hope will become an actual story. I know its short, but I just want some feedback on what I've got so far, plus any (constructive) criticism or advice. Thanks! :) ((As of May 2, I am putting this story on hiatus, to work on Issues, which i feel is a better story))
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[Y] Excerpt

The smell of blood mixed with steel. The streets rang with shouts of fear, rage, and pain. All around the young fox was destruction and chaos. He screamed as a heavy paw clamped upon his shoulder, pulling him back into the alley from which he was about to enter. His captor's other paw pressed itself over his mouth, stifling his pleas for mercy. "Be quiet! You almost killed yourself!" A pair of armored weasels marched past, weilding bloody longswords. "See?Now, shush, damn you! D'you want us both to be killed? Now be quiet, I'm going to let go of you." The paws realeased themselves, and Bredfur spun to see his rescuer. Bredfur gasped as he recognized his saviour, a young wolf only slightly older than himself. "You...you...you're Edrig!" The wolf rolled his eyes. "Am I now? Thank ye much for teling me, I never would've guessed were it not for you," he said sarcastically. Bredfur, lowered his gaze, embarrassed. Edrig sighed. "I'm sorry, I'...
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