Lucas Natasha checked the rearview mirror of his rig.  The roads were clear which was good news.  Even with running lights, the solid black rig with its silver tinted windows was near invisible.  He fingered the AA medallion that hung from the rear camera monitor.

He smiled at the irony.  Sober a year and delivering booze to someplace called the Tavern.  He pulled his headband lower to cut the glare from the lights along this stretch of highway.  His dog tags reflected the wan light that filtered through the windows.

As he checked the GPS directions his gaze fell on the picture taped to the dash.  He had been told he should get rid of it and move on, but he couldn’t.  Liz had been so beautiful.  A lot of people had said a liger and a squirrel would never make it.  But they had lasted.  At least for a little while.  His eyes filled with tears.  They had been married a year.  Only a year.  One damn year.

It was a little over a year ago that he had started to get his life together.  He hadn’t realized how messed up he was.  A year ago was when it had all started to change.  It had all started with the drunken beating he had given that 18 year old kid.  He had been placed in jail for Drunk and Disorderly and Battery.  His father-in-law had posted bail.

It had always surprised him that Jim had never blamed him for what had happened.  But then Liz was his daughter, and she had never blamed him for anything either.  No how many episodes he had or what happened during them.  She was his constant support.  His rock.  He would have died for her.  If not for her feelings on suicide he would have joined her long ago, using Trusty to blow his own head off.  On his bad days he still thought of it.

He had beaten the boy within an inch of his life.  Luckily the doctors said there would be no scarring or lasting damage.  The kid and his parents had dropped the charges, which had confused him until he read the interview in the paper.  The kid had said something about the justice system not being able to punish Lucas as much as he tortured himself.  Lucas would like to have laughed at that but if he glimpsed back into the sleeper he would see the bar he had installed with the handcuffs attached to it.  He still wondered who had told them his story.

The judge had ruled that he still had to pay restitution of course.  He had given Lucas six months to get his act together and find a job.  Lucas had been resigned to letting them do whatever they wanted if he didn’t.  That was when Jim had shown up again.  They had gone out for coffee. 

Being a squirrel, Jim had never been taller than Lucas, but that hadn’t stopped him from smacking him upside the head as they sat down. 

“What do you think you’re doing?”  He had asked.  “Do you think my little girl did everything she did so you could just so you could throw your life away?!  She loved you and she sure as hell is probably heartbroken over what you’ve done to yourself.  You have so much to live for.”

“And what is that?  What do I have to live for?”  Had been his reply. 

That had earned him another swat.  “You have us, your family.  And her.  If not for us or yourself, then live for her.  She loves you and is watching you as we speak from wherever she’s at.  And I’m sure she doesn’t want to see you like this.”  Jim sighed.  “Look son, none of us asked what you did or saw during the war.  We knew it haunted you and we didn’t want you to relive it any more than you obviously are.  Liz knew what she was getting into when she married you.  Hell we all knew what she was risking.  But she loved you and was willing to take the risk.  In time we all came to see why.  You’re still family.  We all love you too.  Look when you need help or someone to talk to, we’re here for you.  You made my little girl happy, now make her proud.”  He had laid a small stack of business cards on the table. “These can help you get started.  Don’t forget your family is still here to support you.”

Jim sighed.  “Look Lucas.  Whatever happened that night, we don’t believe you did it.  Even during your worst episode you never really hurt her.  Yes there was the black eye and the busted lip.  But nothing was permanent.  What they say happened, we just don’t believe it.  When you get yourself back together we’ll discuss it again.  But not now.  Not the way you are.  Get yourself together.  Call us if you need us.”  He laid down money for the bill and tip.  “Angie says to stop being a stranger.  Come to dinner every once in a while.”

After that they had a quick hug and Jim left.

The next day Lucas made the very first of many calls.  Within the week he had attended his first AA meeting, set up a schedule with a psychiatrist, and sold everything he owned except for a small bag of personal items.  Jim, who had also been a former military man, had used his contacts to help him buy a decommissioned CIA transport rig so he could start his own business as an owner/operator in the trucking business.   Thanks to some modifications Jim could contact and follow him anywhere.  Lucas had installed the rail and handcuffs in the sleeper himself, to prevent episodes brought on by nightmares.

He hoped Liz was proud of him.  Hell, for that matter, he

*beep beep beep*

Lucas looked at the GPS.  The warning had gone off as programmed.  The next turn on the right would be the Tavern.  He sighed as he turned on the turn signal. ‘Liz’ He thought ‘I wish you were here now.’