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[Y] The longest joke of its kind
My newest form of written pain only for you all.. enjoy
[Y] The longest joke of its kind
*An empty stage.. no one is sight, but a lone spotlight shines down on the stage. A Lucario walks onto the stage and bows. There is applause from nowhere, and the lucario sends a silent thanks to whoever made the automatic applause machine. He then pulls out his invisible attaché case and pulls out the Renamon doll, who’s appearance visibly unsettles the Lucario. The Lucario clears his thought and begins talking.* “Ladies  and gentlefurs… now that I have horrified you with one of my works, I have decided to write another story.. however, this one is tame, so you can all see that my sense of humor is not 100% perverted. So therefore, before my mother can begin slapping me around, I present to you all.. MY SECOND WORK!!!! Also Lucario and Renamon belong to their respective owners i.e. Nintendo and whoever has copyrights to Renamon.

                The Longest Joke of its Kind

The Lucario sat in the tavern, bored as usual (Surprised? I thought not…). There was nothing to do besides whine and complain about the lack of entertainment in his life (Story of my life). Suddenly, he stiffened, sensing a pointless challenge to do. One of the light bulbs in the tavern was flickering on and off. (By the way the weather is about 68 degrees Fahrenheit, sunny, with some clouds and a 10% chance of rain later on in the day. Also it’s about 10:27 AM, just because I feel like it being that time) This is unacceptable.. a light bulb that isn’t working… the maid here must be lazy, or this is one hell of a good plot convenience. Since it IS a plot convenience written by his author,(what? You expected it to be a result of the Somalia pirate crises?) the point of the flickering light bulb MUST be that he had to change it. However, the light bulb was high above him, so in addition to getting a new light bulb, he knew he had to get a ladder too. So thus began his ultimate quest of the day besides finding a girlfriend (my life goal.. ya, I know I have no life like that)… change the light bulb *dramatic chord* ( By the way, I am not on any drugs when I write this, seeing that I can’t tell marijuana from Astroturf. Also I am not sleep deprived, as I went to bed around 9 last night and got up around 6 today. And no, I hate coffee and energy drinks.. sooo ya… ima 100% natural as I write this laugh/wince inducing story)
The first thing he must do, his author told him, was find a ladder. And no, a Snakes and Ladders game wouldn’t count as a ladder, nor would a tourney ladder count. (note to self, introduce that circue de solie ladder acrobat in this story.. and no I don’t own circue de solie either) So therefore, he began to look around the tavern for a ladder. He knew exactly what kind of ladder he wanted… a steel one. Because steel ladders are cool like that. Annnnnyways… he walked around the tavern, amazed at the huge variety of creatures and huge lack of restrooms of any kind. (fart joke here)(yes I know that makes me sound like I have the maturity of a 5 year old hamster, but we need more fart jokes in our lives. The same also applies to the words hither and thither… ok new goal.. say hither and thither more often.. now back to the story) Since (hither) he (thither) couldn’t (hither) find (thither) any (hither) ladders (thither) in (hither) the (thither) tavern (thither), he (hither) went (thither.. hey that works) up (hither) to (thither) the (hither) second (thither) floor. (hither) (sorry) Up there there (it’s grammatically correct believe it or not) were  tons of doors leading to the private rooms. (wink wink nudge nudge a nods as good as a wink to a blind man) Since he needed to find a ladder, he decided to risk the chance of hellfire and look into the rooms to see if there were ladders in the private rooms.. (there MUST be someone out there with a ladder fetish) He drew in a long breath for courage and opened the first door. In it was the meaning of life. Since the meaning of life was not a ladder he closed the door and walked off. (that is why we don’t know the meaning of life… blame a ladder obsessed Lucario) He then moved to another random door and peeked in. Inside of this room, Waldo, Jimmy Hoffa, the Lindberg baby, Jerry Garcia (*is a diehard deadhead*) Elvis, and of course, Momma Cass, eating a ham sandwich. ( I do not own the names I just mentioned or anything related to them, unless store bought tee shirts count) HE sooo wanted to jam with Garcia, but he was busy drawing art. So the Lucario closed the door and went to room number three. In it was Aara. However she was “busy” with Noah, so Luc cursed his luck and was about to close the door when he spotted what he came for… A STEEL LADDER!!!! He crossed the room, and got the ladder. It was steel AND it was shiny… an unexpected bonus! He put a camera in the room and began filming the scene with aara and noah for later use. (ima the eternal horndog.. you expect anything less?)
Now it was time to find the light bulb.. A daunting task, but a necessary one for out “hero”. He went downstairs and began a new quest.. the quest for a light bulb!!!! (if you can’t tell what kind of joke ima telling now.. you FAIL at reading) The thing is.. where is a light bulb in a tavern? The answer? We shall see. He got out a light bulb seeking bullet and fired it. It hit the flickering light bulb and destroyed it. He paused for a moment, enjoying the surreal humor of it, and continued looking around. ( need..screamo…metal… brb) (back) As he began to walk, a mysterious voice cried out “DON’T MOVE!!!” however, he just kept on walking and soon his head began to spin and he faded into darkness. When he woke up he was on a semi familiar field, and two monsters were facing him, bouncing in place. He looked down and groaned. “ahhh man, I HATE RPG’s” Since he had wasted his turn using complain, the monsters attacked. Doing 69 damage total (get your mind outta the gutter pervs) unfortunately for the monsters, the lucario was at a high level and knew a powerful move. He used “real time movement” ability, and just started whaling on the monsters, because he didn’t have to wait for his turn, unlike the monsters. Both monsters were defeated. A WINRAR IS HIM. Get 125 exp, 45 gold, and Light bulbs. Thanks to the random battle, he now had a lighbulb to screw in. And thus did out hero begin the last stage of his quest.
He got both hard earned items out and began thinking of how to use them. Should he screw the ladder in the socket and get to it by climbing the light bulb or something different? After thinking it over for a while, he climbed the ladder, unscrewed the broken lightbulb, and put the new one in. He then walked over to a couch, and flopped down, exhausted by his superhuman feat. He then turned to face the audience (the 1 or 2  people still reading this) and said “ I know this is kinda  of a roundabout way of saying it, but how many lucarios does it take to screw in  lightbulb? The answer is 1

Luc: I am sorry for doing such a bad joke, but it was fun to write, and I hope you enjoyed reading it.
Ren: *starts slapping Luc around for making such a long, bad joke..
*curtains and a giant end sign appears*
(a 1343 word lighbulb joke.. BEAT THAT *ego balloon inflates*)